I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
