ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
