He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
