girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Randomize
