i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
