She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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