Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Your face is a jimmy john
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
