it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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