Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize