it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
