I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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