Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night