Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them

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(+77): View more from

her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha

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(417): View more from Missouri

Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(201): View more from New Jersey

PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon

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(217): View more from Illinois

4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket

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(812): View more from Indiana

Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on

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(434): View more from Virginia

I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement

(1-434): View more from Virginia

Dude you were ten when he graduated

(434): View more from Virginia

Wahoowaaaaaaa

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.

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