The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
