It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement