Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to