Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
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I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
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There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.