ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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