she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
