don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
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Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
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How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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