Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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