At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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