Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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