i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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