so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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