smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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