but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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