Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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