considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
