Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
