I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
how do flat chested girls get laid?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
