Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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