The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
