i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
