I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
