Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
