That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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