somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
