my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
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