Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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