stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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