I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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