Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
