My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Best friends brother. Beat that.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
