Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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