How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
