I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
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The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
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I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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