i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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