Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
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Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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