I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Ketchup is God's man juice
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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