I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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