I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
