I'm gonna have a badass scar
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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