Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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