I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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