i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
