i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
