if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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