I'm so fucking centered right now
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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