Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Never underestimate the power of titties
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
