Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
