the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
