we're blogging at a bar
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
