Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize