Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
