Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
