Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
