its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
