there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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