a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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